did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
