we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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