I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
