So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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