Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
