I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
