Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
