I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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