We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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