I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
