I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
nutella sex= disaster
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Couch. On fire.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize