why didn't you poke me back
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
