They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
