I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize