WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
