I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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