i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
