If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
