i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
