You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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