i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
