Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
