Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry blahhhhhhhhhh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

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(760): View more from California

is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?

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(517): View more from Michigan

And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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(775): View more from Nevada

THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.

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(831): View more from California

i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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(569): View more from

I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome

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(785): View more from Kansas

When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now

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