I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
