I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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