Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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