if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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