My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Terrible idea I love it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
