i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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