Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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