margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
