3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
