having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is the high leading the old right now
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
