were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
