Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
