STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you still have your period?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
