I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
