I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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