dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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