Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
