I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
