Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
