I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
