Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
