I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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