I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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