I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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