that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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