Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How external is "for external use only"?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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