He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
