we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
