This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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