How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
