If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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