just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
