some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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