I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
