I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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