Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
