Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize